Exploring Lesbian Stereotypes: Insights from Gay Girls on Different Types & Labels
Lesbians, like many marginalized communities, have long been subject to stereotypes and labels that often…
Common Misconceptions About Trans Dating and How to Avoid Them
There are numerous myths and misconceptions about transgender and trans dating. One of the most common misconceptions is that “dating them makes you gay.” In this article, we’ll debunk the 10 common misconceptions about trans dating and reveal ways to avoid them.
Short on Time? (Summary)
Many people are still confused about gender and sex. We’ll begin by saying gender and sex are not the same thing. Biological sex does not dictate gender identity. Also, gender identity and sexual orientation are different.
Sexual orientation describes who a person is attracted to, while gender identity describes how a person views themself. A trans person’s sexuality is different from the gender they identify as.
Dating as a transgender has its unique challenges, primarily due to the misconceptions about the trans community. In this article, we’ll debunk 10 common misconceptions about trans dating and how to avoid them.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Gender and biological sex are not synonymous.
- Trans people are not confused, mentally ill, or only attracted to cisgender people.
- Dating a transgender as a straight person doesn’t mean you’re gay.
- Educate yourself on the trans community and support your trans partner during and after transitioning.
10 Common Misconceptions About Trans Dating
1. They’re Confused About Their Gender
Contrary to what most people believe, trans people are not confused about their gender. This misconception stems from a lack of understanding of gender complexities. Most people think that you are either male or female, and this doesn’t sit well with trans people.
They’ve thought a lot about their gender identity before coming out as transgender or going through a medical transition. If they were confused, they would regret their decision after coming out or transitioning. Research has shown that almost no trans people regret their decision.
Transgender people are not confused or trying to deceive anyone. They’re only trying to express who they really are and choose not to conform to societal norms.
How to Avoid: Don’t assume a person’s gender based on their physical appearance or behavior. Acknowledge that there are several gender identities beyond male and female.
2. They’re Just Going Through a Phase
There’s a common misconception that being transgender is just a phase caused by peer pressure, trends, or a form of rebellion. Transgender people do not identify or transition on impulse. Choosing to recognize and express their true identity took a lot of deep thinking and even courage.
How to Avoid: You must understand being transgender is not a trend or a phase. A trans person has discovered their true self through thoughtful introspection and has chosen to embrace and express their authentic identity. Do not label transgender as a phase because it invalidates their experience.
3. They’re Mentally Ill
Identifying as transgender is not a mental illness. Mental health issues such as anxiety or depression may stem from stigma, trauma, and discrimination from friends, colleagues, and family and not from the gender identity itself.
Some transgender people –not all– experience gender dysphoria caused by distress or dissatisfaction with the gender assigned to them at birth. Psychology and medical organizations have confirmed that being transgender is a normal variation and not an illness.
How to Avoid: Understand that being transgender is not a mental illness. You should also understand that gender identity is separate from psychological or mental issues. Doing this will help to create a safe and accepting space for trans people.
4. They All Want Surgery
Another common misconception is that all transgender individuals want gender-affirming surgery. Not all transgender individuals want surgery or hormone therapy. Getting surgery is a personal decision based on the individual’s preferences.
Some choose to undergo surgery to get their desired physical appearance, while others don’t due to several factors such as:
- Financial Status: Gender-affirming surgeries are expensive. Not everyone can afford it even if they want it.
- Personal Preferences: Some trans individuals might prefer hormone therapy or choosing to go by a new name or pronoun. Others do not desire surgery or hormonal therapy at all.
- Health Challenges: Undergoing gender-affirming surgery can be risky for those who have underlying health issues.
- Limited Access to Medical Care: People who live in rural areas may have limited access to medical care providers especially those specialized in transgender care and surgery.
How to Avoid: Understand that transgender people have varied preferences for medical transitions.
5. They Hate Their Bodies
As we mentioned earlier, not all trans individuals experience gender dysphoria. Transgender people do not hate their bodies, as opposed to what many people believe. They only believe that their true identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth.
For those who have gender dysphoria, they are only dissatisfied with the gender assigned to them at birth. Transgender itself is not a medical or psychological illness associated with hatred for one’s body, so transgender people do not hate their bodies.
How to Avoid: Recognize that trans people can appreciate their bodies while seeking to align with their gender identity.
6. They’re Only Attracted to Cisgender People
The assumption that transgender people are only attracted to cisgender people is incorrect as a person’s gender identity is different from the gender they’re attracted to. Transgender people all have different sexual orientations. They could be straight, bisexual, asexual, lesbian, queer, etc.
Transgender individuals have their individual preferences and can be attracted to people of any gender they prefer, even transgender as well.
How to Avoid: Understand that being transgender should not be regarded as a sexual preference.
7. Dating a Transgender Makes You Gay
One of the most common misconceptions about transgender and trans dating is that dating them means you’re gay. This misconception arises from the lack of understanding of the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation.
Many people are afraid or ashamed to date trans people for fear of being labeled as gay. Dating a transgender as a straight person does not alter your sexual orientation. For example:
- If you identify as a lesbian and you’re attracted to or dating a trans woman (who identifies as a female), it does not change the fact that you’re attracted to women. It’s the same if you’re a gay man and attracted to a trans man (who identifies as a man).
- If you identify as a straight man and you’re attracted to or dating a trans woman (who identifies as a female), it does not mean you’re gay. You’re still attracted to women.
How to Avoid: Be open-minded. If a trans person identifies as a gender you’re attracted to, give it a chance. It doesn’t make you gay.
8. They’re Hypersexual
Several people believe that trans people are more sexually promiscuous than others. This misconception leads to sexually objectifying and hypersexualizing the trans community. It also dehumanizes them and reduces their existence to objects of sexual desire only.
9. Trans Datings Is Too Complicated
Singles from other gender identities and sexual orientations are afraid to date trans singles because they think dating them is too complicated. Trans dating has its unique challenges. However, with teamwork, respect, and open communication, you can overcome these challenges and make the relationship work.
10. They Can’t Have Children
Your gender identity does not affect your ability or desire to be a parent. Transgender people can have children if they want to. They can have children biologically, through surrogacy or adoption.
Those who preserved their reproductive organs, sperm or eggs, can have children biologically. Trans women who do not have the means to carry a pregnancy themselves can opt for adoption or surrogacy.
How to Make Your Trans Partner Feel Loved
Here are a few ways to make your trans partner feel loved and supported.
- Educate Yourself: We advise that you do your research on the trans community. Read articles or watch documentaries to learn about transgender people. Doing this will show your partner that you care about them. If you met someone from a transgender dating site and you have scheduled a date with me, make sure to do your research before the date.
- Listen Without Judgment: Foster a safe space where they can share their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment or unsolicited opinions. Offer validation and understanding to help them feel truly supported and valued.
- Use The Correct Pronouns: Try addressing them with their preferred pronouns as much as possible. It might take a while, but practice makes perfect.
- Support Their Transition: Offer your full support through their transition journey, either financially, emotionally, or both.
- Respect Their Privacy: Support your partner’s decision and respect their privacy, especially when they’ve not come out to friends and family. Do not pressure them into disclosing their identity.
- Check On Your Partner: If your partner is just coming out or still in the transition process, it’s essential to check in on them every chance you get, no matter how busy you are. Ask how they’re feeling and offer your support in any way you can.
- Seek Support: It’s okay to seek external support to process your emotions about your partner’s transition. Get support from a therapist or an LGBTQ+ center.
Conclusion
Debunking these misconceptions will help to understand the transgender identity better, thereby creating an accepting and understanding space for the trans community to fully express themselves without prejudice.
If you’re a transgender single looking for romance or casual relationship or you’re cisgender and open to dating trans people, sign up now to the best trans dating sites to search for compatible matches.
