Building Emotional Intimacy in Relationships: A Guide to Deepen Connection
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71 Best Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend That Will Bring You Closer
Whether you’re talking to your girlfriend online or out on a date, here are 71 best things to talk about with your girlfriend that will bring you closer.
Short on Time? (Summary)
Your relationship is more likely to thrive when you engage your girlfriend in meaningful and positive conversations.
Talking about a variety of topics on a regular basis promotes a healthy and happy relationship. Surprisingly, you’ll get to see new or even exciting sides of your girlfriend.
We will delve into the 71 best things to talk about with your girlfriend that will bring you closer. We will also provide experts’ tips to start a great conversation as well as how to resolve conflicts.
Continue reading to find pro tips on how to get the best out of every conversation.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Meaningful conversations foster deeper connections between couples.
- Respect your girlfriend’s opinions during these conversations.
- Do not force her to discuss topics she finds uncomfortable.
- Pay attention to every detail in the conversation.
Why Conversations are Important in a Relationship
Constant meaningful and even funny conversations with your girlfriend can help you understand each other better and strengthen your bond. Having meaningful conversations about certain topics is very important, especially in the early stages of your relationship.
If you’re both working towards getting married, you should discuss topics like finances, conflict resolution, and whether or not you want kids. Sharing your opinions and expectations on a specific matter will ensure that you’re both on the same page.
It is usual to run out of things to talk about with your girlfriend. From deep to funny, and even flirty topics, we have handpicked the best 70 things to talk about with your girlfriend.
7 Reasons Why Communication Matters in Relationships
- Communication keeps the spark alive.
- It creates a safe and supportive environment for you and your partner.
- You build trust over time.
- You learn more about each other.
- You resolve misunderstandings.
- Constant communication builds respect in the relationship.
- You do not have to guess what’s on your girlfriend’s mind.
What Should I Talk About With My Girlfriend?
Here are meaningful conversations you can have with your girlfriend based on personal experience and extensive research.
21 Deep Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Past Relationships
Ask your girlfriend about her past relationship and what went wrong. If she’s honest about what she did wrong, it shows you that she’s willing to accept her faults and will probably find ways to correct them. However, if she blames everything on her ex, it could be a red flag.
Keep in mind that if she had previously mentioned that her ex was toxic or was an abusive partner, in that case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s a red flag.
Talking about her past relationship could also give you insights on what to do and what you avoid in your relationship.
Sample Questions:
- What do you think went wrong in your last relationship?
- How long was your last relationship?
- What’s one thing that your ex always did that you didn’t like?
Pro Tip: If she doesn’t want to talk about her past relationship, don’t insist. Eventually, she’ll get comfortable enough to tell you the story.
Childhood Trauma
This is one of the most vulnerable conversations you can have as a couple. It can provoke unpleasant memories so make sure you’re ready to handle the situation before you bring this up.
Talking about your traumatic childhood is necessary to see who you’ve both become as adults.
Sample Question:
- What incident traumatized you as a child?
- What were you afraid of as a child?
Pro Tip: If she’s not comfortable talking about her past yet, don’t force her. She’ll tell you when she’s ready. Also, don’t bring this topic up if you’re not ready to share your own story.
Dreams/Career Goals
It is important that you and your girlfriend share your dreams and career goals. Talk about startups you want to own, projects you hope to pursue, companies/firms you would like to work for, or awards you would like to win.
Supporting each other’s dreams will strengthen your relationship and help you become a strong team.
Sample Questions:
- What are your career goals?
- If you could switch your career path, what would it be?
Pro Tip: Remind her frequently that her dreams are attainable and to keep working hard to achieve them.
Nightmares
Sharing your nightmares with your girlfriend and vice versa can foster a stronger connection. You can ask the following questions if you’re curious about this topic.
Sample Questions:
- Do you have frequent or recurring nightmares?
- What was your worst nightmare?
- When was the last time you had a nightmare? What was it about?
Pro Tip: If she has frequent nightmares, consider getting herbal tea or essential oils, such as lavender, chamomile, or cedarwood oils, that can help her sleep better at night.
Religion
It is essential that you know your girlfriend’s stance on the topic of religion, for example, whether or not she believes in God or what other religion she practices. You should also let your girlfriend know your beliefs and religion.
Sample Questions:
- Do you believe in God?
- Do you consider yourself a religious person?
- Do you believe there are many other gods?
Pro Tip: Respect her opinions and beliefs. If you both practice the same religion, work together to build your faith.
Sex
Sex is an important topic in every relationship. Don’t be shy to bring up sex-related conversations. Discuss HIV and STD testing, protection, as well as each other’s sexual needs and fantasies.
Open sexual conversations enhance physical and emotional intimacy.
Sample Questions:
- What are your thoughts on abstinence?
- What turns you on?
Pro Tip: If you’re in a faith-based relationship and you’ve both agreed to wait till marriage, limit physical touch.
Fears
Talking about your fears will help you overcome them. Discussing your fears will also help you learn more about each other. For example, if she’s scared of the dark, you can ask what incident led to that.
Sample Questions:
- I’m afraid of heights, what about you?
- What’s your greatest fear?
Pro Tip: If you have a fear of water and you’re willing to overcome it, schedule a day to hang out in the pool, visit a waterpark, or even the beach. This way you can spend more time with each other while overcoming your fears.
How to Improve Your Relationship
Ask your girlfriend what ways you think you can be a better partner and improve the relationship. If there’s anything she does that doesn’t sit right with you, let her know without being mean or judgemental.
Sample Questions:
- How can we improve our relationship?
- What’s something I do that annoys you?
- What do you think I should improve on?
Pro Tip: Pay attention to everything she says and try to implement them.
Future Plans
Discuss future plans not only about the relationship but also outside the relationship. This will let you know if you’re compatible. Some questions relating to this include:
Sample Questions:
- Where do you see this relationship in the next five years?
- Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Pro Tip: Don’t talk about your future plans with her too soon. For example, don’t talk about having kids with her when you just started dating a while ago.
Things You Have in Common
Couples have more things in common than they realize. Talking about things you both have in common shows you how similar you are, bringing you two even closer than before.
Sample Questions:
- What do you think we have in common?
- Do you think we’re similar in any way?
Pro Tip: If you both enjoy doing the same things, try to do them together more often.
Coping Mechanism
You both need to talk about how you manage stress, anger, anxiety, etc.
Sample Questions:
- What do you do when you’re stressed out?
- How do you manage your anxiety?
Pro Tip: Schedule a date (at least once a week) where you can engage in relaxing activities, such as yoga, meditation, etc.
Feminism and Gender Roles
The world is changing and most old-fashioned rules are getting replaced. Discuss modern feminism, gender roles, and gender stereotypes. Make sure you’re of the same mind, especially if you plan on moving in together.
Sample Questions:
- Do you consider yourself a feminist?
- How should we divide the house chores?
Pro Tip: If your girlfriend is a feminist, respect her opinions. Read books about feminism to explore the concept.
Finances
The topic of money is a very sensitive one, especially if you live together. Discuss saving plans, monthly budget, how much each person should contribute, and whether you should open a joint or separate account. If you don’t live together, ask about her saving plans and budget.
Sample Questions:
- Should we do 50/50 on dates?
- What are your savings plans for retirement?
- How do we handle the bills when we move in together?
Pro Tip: Share your saving plans with her, if you have any.
What She’s Grateful For
Asking her what she’s grateful for will show you what she values the most. Gratitude makes you realize how far you have come. Sharing these moments fosters a deeper connection.
Sample Questions:
- What are you grateful for today?
- What’s one thing you’re most grateful for?
Pro Tip: Consider getting a matching gratitude journal.
What Makes Her Happy
It is important you’re aware of the things that make her happy in the relationship and in life. Pay attention to even the tiniest detail.
Sample Questions:
- What’s your source of happiness?
- What made you happy today?
Pro Tip: Support the things that make her happy, no matter how little they are.
Conflict Resolution
Disagreements are unavoidable in a relationship, what matters is how you resolve them. Discuss conflicts and how you think you can manage them.
Sample Questions:
- How do you resolve conflicts?
- How do you react when you’re mad?
Pro Tip: Ensure that you discuss any recent disagreements and how to solve them in the future.
Health
Talk about your health challenges, if you have any. Ask about the health condition she’s dealing with or how often she sees the doctor. This will show how much you care about her.
Sample Questions:
- Is there any genetic disease in your family?
- How often do you work out?
- What medications are you currently taking?
Pro Tip: Suggest enrolling for a couple’s gym membership. Set a reminder on your phone if she has to take medications.
Struggles in Life
Couples should always be open about their struggles in life. Ask her about her struggles and let her know that you’ll be there when she needs you. Also, let her know if you’re struggling with anything.
Sample Question: What are you currently struggling with? Is there any way I can help?
Pro Tip: Make an effort to ease her struggles in whatever way you can.
Marriage
Marriage is another sensitive topic but it needs to be discussed at some point in your relationship to know if you’re in agreement about the topic.
Sample Questions:
- Do you hope to get married someday?
- Do you see a future with me?
Pro Tip: You don’t want to scare away by asking about marriage early in the relationship.
Children
If you’re planning to get married, you must discuss if either of you want children. If you agree on having kids, you need to talk about how many kids you want and how soon you want them, where to raise them, parenting roles, etc.
Sample Questions:
- Do you want to have children?
- What should be our parenting style?
- How should we plan for our children’s education?
Pro Tip: Don’t disregard her opinions. Make sure you’re both on the same terms before you go further, to avoid conflicts in the future.
Cohabitation
Hearing her thoughts and opinions on cohabitation can reveal if you two can live together or not.
Sample Question:
- What are your thoughts on couples cohabitating?
- What do you think about us moving in together?
Pro Tip: Do not insist on moving in together if she doesn’t like the idea.
15 Interesting Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Pet Peeves
You should be aware of your girlfriend’s dislikes and pet peeves. It will help you know what to avoid doing and how to treat her better in the relationship.
Sample Question: What are your pet peeves?
Family Traditions
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you may want to know more about each other’s background and family traditions. Describe your most memorable family traditions such as birthdays, reunions, family gatherings, cultural celebrations, holiday meals, etc.
Sample Questions:
- Do you enjoy family traditions?
- What’s one family tradition you always look forward to?
Culture
Discuss cultural heritage and the things you love most about your culture.
Sample Question: What’s your favorite cultural dish?
Pro Tip: Cook a cultural meal for your girlfriend. Share pictures of cultural attires.
Role Models
Who your girlfriend looked up to will tell you a lot about her. Ask her about her role models and why she looks up to them. You should also share yours with her.
Sample Questions:
- Who would you say is your biggest role model?
- What are some ways you would like to be like your role models?
- What do you admire most about your role model?
Daily Activities
Ask your girlfriend about her daily routines and activities. Listening to what she loves to do daily can ignite stronger connections between the both of you.
Sample Questions:
- What would you say is your favorite daily activity?
- What’s something you do every day?
Friends
Show interest in her social circle and share your own experiences while entertaining her thoughts and ideas on your friendship.
Sample Questions:
- Tell me about your closest friends and what makes your bond special?
- Have you ever had an argument with a friend? How did you handle it?
Pro Tip: Be supportive and understanding, and offer advice when she discusses any challenge(s) she experiences with her friends.
Deepest Secrets
To discuss the deepest secrets, start by creating a safe and non-judgmental environment.
Sample Questions:
- Is there anything you’ve never told anyone that you feel comfortable sharing with me?
- What’s something you’ve kept hidden that you’re ready to talk about?
Pro Tip: Start by sharing your own deepest secrets to encourage your girlfriend to be open with you.
Deepest Regret
You should strive to create a safe and supportive environment where both of you can openly share.
Sample Questions:
- What’s one thing you wish you could change about your past?
- How have your regrets shaped who you are today?
Pro Tip: Listen without judgment, and offer reassurance and support. Also, emphasize more on learning from mistakes.
School or Work Life
School or work life can be hectic and a simple show of genuine interest and empathy will go a long way in building a stronger relationship. Ask about her day, share experiences, and offer support.
Sample Questions:
- How was your day at school/work? Anything exciting happened?
- What’s been the most challenging aspect of your current workload/classes?
- Are there any projects or assignments you’re particularly proud of?
- How do you balance your studies/work with other aspects of your life?
- Is there anything you’re looking forward to in the upcoming weeks at school/work?
Pro Tip: Actively listen so you can pick up aspects of her day to expand on the topic. Provide encouragement or advice where necessary, showing your commitment to her growth and well-being.
Projects
Asking about her projects also shows genuine interest and expresses your curiosity not only in herself but also in her ambitions.
Sample Questions:
- What project are you currently working on?
- How can I support you with your project?
Pro Tip: Be supportive and show your sincere interest in her endeavors; it will strengthen your bond and help build a supportive relationship dynamic.
Fashion
Discuss views and opinions on fashion and the type of clothes she loves to wear. Knowing these would be helpful when you plan on gifting her clothes.
Sample Question: I like how you put clothes together. Would you mind styling me too?
Pro Tip: Compliment her and tell her she has a great sense of fashion.
Bucket List
Many people have a bucket list that could include a childhood dream, things they want to try before a certain age, and places they would like to go. Discussing this topic helps you learn what she’d love to achieve.
Sample Questions:
- What are the top 5 boxes on your bucket list?
- What was the last box you ticked?
Pro Tip: If it’s within your means, help her tick some of the boxes on the list.
Artificial Intelligence
It might seem unrelated to your relationship topic but you could discuss the pros and cons of AI.
Sample Question: Do you think AI has done more good than harm?
Dream Home
Almost everyone has envisioned their dream. This is an exciting topic where you can both show your creative side while envisioning the perfect home. Compare your taste in furniture, features, color schemes, etc.
Sample Questions:
- Do you want a modern or minimalist home?
- What do you think about an open-plan kitchen?
Pro Tip: Search dream homes ideas on Pinterest, send them to her and ask what she thinks about them or what she would change if it were hers.
Greatest Achievement
Show interest in her growth by asking about her greatest achievements, what challenges she encountered and how she overcame them.
Sample Question: What do you think is your greatest achievement?
Pro Tip: Be sure to applaud her as often as you can.
10 Fun Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Hobbies and Interests
Discussing her hobbies and interests can help you find out the things she loves doing. You can engage her in these activities and have a fun time together.
Sample Question:
- What do you do for fun?
- I enjoy skiing. What about you?
Pro Tip: Plan a date that includes the activities you both enjoy.
Vacation Destinations
Everyone’s bucket list has a destination they’d like to visit. Talking about vacation destinations helps you know where she’s been dying to visit.
You can even plan a surprise visit for her. Also while discussing vacation destinations, you should talk about the fun things you can do there.
Sample Questions:
- What country would you love to visit?
- Would you like to see the Eiffel Tower?
Pro Tip: There may be situations where her vacation destination is not appealing to you. If you were planning on a vacation trip, write out five other destinations and come to an agreement on which one to visit.
Favorite TV shows and Movies
Asking about her favorite TV shows is a good way to bond, you get to know her favorite movie genre, TV shows, and movie characters.
Sample Questions:
- Do you prefer TV series or movies?
- Are you really that scared of horror movies?
Pro Tip: In your free time, you two can binge-watch the shows together.
Favorite Food
Talk about her favorite cuisines or cultural dishes and ask if she can prepare them, you get to know if you have similar tastes.
Sample Questions:
- Do you like your favorite cuisine homemade or from a local restaurant?
- What cuisine would you like to try?
Pro Tip: Try surprising her by cooking her favorite dish or something she hasn’t tried before.
Favorite Books
Ask her favorite books and recommend your favorites to her. You can also debate about the best authors in a particular genre or in general.
Sample Questions
- Romance Novels or Fantasy?
- Who’s your favorite author?
Pro Tip: Consider planning a library date.
Favorite Music
The type of music one listens to and enjoys, to an extent, reflects their personality. Talk about each other’s favorite genres of music and artistes.
Sample Questions
- What are your top five all-time favorite songs?
- Do you love karaoke?
Pro Tip: Surprise her with two tickets to her favorite artiste’s concert. A karaoke night is a great idea too!
Holidays (Christmas, New Year)
Holidays are memorable times of the year. Let her know your favorite holidays and how you spend them.
Sample Questions:
- What’s your favorite holiday?
- What’s your best Christmas experience?
- How do you spend your favorite holiday?
Pro Tip: Invite her to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner or any other holiday celebration.
Weekend Plans
Weekend is a fantastic time for couples to bond. Ask about her plans for the weekend and fill her in on yours. If you have planned a fun activity for both of you, let her know beforehand.
Sample Question:
- What are you doing this weekend?
- Are you up for a picnic this weekend?
- I saw a new restaurant down the road. Should we try it out this weekend?
Pro Tip: Don’t force her to do activities she’s not comfortable with, especially if she’s an introvert.
Secret Society
Secret society is an interesting topic you could debate on, for example, whether the Illuminati is real or not.
Sample Questions:
- Would you ever join a secret society?
- What do you think about the Illuminati?
Warning Labels
Describing what each other’s warning labels would be is an interesting and even funny conversation. A warning label is attached to a package or product warning the buyer of the risk associated with that product.
For example, your warning label could be, “Fragile! Handle with care.”
Sample Question: What do you think my warning labels would be?
10 Funny Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Childhood Memories
We all have several silly things we did as children that we enjoy talking about. Having a conversation with your girlfriend about childhood is definitely a way to keep her entertained. It is also a fun way to get to know each other better.
Sample Questions:
- What’s your earliest childhood memory?
- What’s your best childhood memory?
Embarrassing Moments
Sharing embarrassing moments will leave you guys howling with laughter.
Sample Questions:
- What was your most embarrassing moment as a child?
- What’s your most recent embarrassing moment?
Bad Habits
Your bad habits are a fun topic for discussion. You might even discover you have similar habits.
Sample Question: My bad habit is that I’m always procrastinating. What’s yours?
Pro Tip: Don’t judge any of her bad habits.
Browser Histories
This will surely be an awkward but funny conversation. Share the weird stuff you search on Google when no one is around.
Sample: Here’s my browser history, LOL. What about yours?
Annoying Habits
Talking about her annoying habit makes for a funny conversation. Tease her about her annoying habits without making her feel bad about it.
Sample Question: It’s annoying how you always leave the lights on. Why are you so afraid of the dark?
Quirks
Bringing up interesting traits about her will definitely bring a lot of laughter. Let her know you notice little things that people might not notice.
Sample: I love how you swing your arms a lot when walking.
Pro Tip: Let her know that you find these quirks cute and you aren’t making fun of her.
Favorite Childhood Cartoons
Childhood cartoons certainly bring back funny memories. Discuss your favorite cartoons or favorite character you loved as a child.
Sample Question: What was your favorite cartoon as a child?
Funniest Jokes
Discuss the funniest joke you’ve ever heard on the internet, from a friend or even a comedy show.
Sample Question:
- I heard a funny joke today. Wanna hear?
- What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?
Funny Nicknames
Tell her about the funny nicknames your family called you during your childhood.
Sample Question: What funny nicknames did your parents call you when you were younger?
Funny Videos/Memes
Start a funny conversation about videos or memes you found online. Trendy matters on the internet are also great topics for an interesting conversation.
8 Flirty Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Sexual Fantasies
Asking about her sexual fantasies is a good start for flirty conversations. It is important to know what your girlfriend’s sexual fantasies are. This can improve your sexual relationship with her.
Sample Question: What sexual fantasies would you like to fulfill?
Favorite Positions
If you’re both comfortable about the sex topic, it is totally normal to ask about her favorite position. You’d be surprised how much you can learn from this.
Sample Question: What’s your favorite position?
PDA
Bring up the discussion of public display of affection. Talk about how far you both are willing to go in public, whether or not she’s comfortable with PDA.
Sample Question:
- What do you think about PDA?
- Are you comfortable with PDA?
Roleplay Ideas
This is another interesting flirty topic for you and your girlfriend to delve into. It’s okay as her partner to inquire about her roleplay fantasies. Don’t be shy to ask her and also share yours with her.
Sample Question: What are your roleplay fantasies?
Pro Tip: You need to discuss sex before you ask about this.
Pick-up Lines
This is another great start for flirty talks. You can use flirty pick up lines to spice up your relationship with your girlfriend.
How Much You Admire Her
A man should never get tired of telling his girlfriend how much he admires her. This conversation opens doors for flirty talks and can build stronger bonds.
Sample:
- I love how you always get things done without procrastinating.
- I love how your eyes lighten up when you smile.
- I admire your dedication to your work and family.
Toys
It may be awkward asking about sex toys but you can know more about your girlfriend’s sexual fantasies when discussing this topic.
Sample:
- What do you think about sex toys?
- What’s your favorite sex toy?
How to Improve Your Sex Life
Deliberate about ways you both can improve your sex life. Do not mock or disregard her suggestions.
Sample Question: Is there something we haven’t tried that you want to do?
7 Other Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
Love Language
You need to be aware of your girlfriend’s love language in order to love her the way she wants you to.
Sample Question
- What’s your love language?
- What can I do to show you how much I love you?
Soulmate
Ask her what she thinks about soulmates and whether she believes they exist.
Sample Questions:
- Do you believe in soulmates?
- Do you think we’re each other’s soulmates?
Pro Tip: Don’t get mad if she doesn’t give you the answer you want to hear.
When She Fell in Love With You
I bet you’re curious about what moment your girlfriend fell in love with you. The only way to find out is to ask.
Sample Question: When did you realize you were in love with me?
Compliments
Women love to hear compliments. It doesn’t always have to be about her looks. You could also compliment her personality or taste.
Sample:
- I love how patient you are with people and animals.
- I love your taste in music.
Pro Tip: Take a step further by asking her what type of compliments she likes to hear.
Sentimental Gifts
You could talk about sentimental gifts and how you view them, whether or not they’re important to you, etc.
Sample Question:
- Do you like sentimental gifts?
- Had anyone ever given you a sentimental gift?
Current Mood
When your girlfriend asks what you’re up to or how you’re feeling at the moment, be sure to give her all the details.
Her Skincare Routine
Most, if not all, ladies love skincare! Ask her to walk you through her step-by-step skincare routine, what products she uses, and how she manages breakouts.
Pro Tip: Send her skincare routine. Get her skincare products from her favorite brand.
Tips to Start a Conversation With Your Girlfriend
Bringing up sensitive or serious topics may be awkward at first, especially if you just started dating or recently had an argument. Here are experts’ tips to start a conversation with your girlfriend.
- Be Positive: If you want to talk about a recent argument, start with a positive tone. For example, “I’d like to discuss our recent disagreement and how we can get better with conflict resolution.”
- Be Attentive: Pay attention to everything she’s saying. Make eye contact and occasionally nod your head to show you’re paying attention.
- Be Willing to See Her Point of View: Show her that you acknowledge her feelings by reiterating what she said in your own words. Also, respect her opinions on certain matters even though you don’t agree with them.
- Be Mindful of Your Tone and Body Language: Ensure that your tone and body language are calm and non-judgemental, not only when you speak but also when you listen.
- Should Be a Good Time: Make sure it’s a good time for the both of you to have a conversation. Don’t bring up a serious conversation when you’re both busy or stressed out after a long day at work or school.
Conclusion
Couples need to constantly communicate about topics relating to their relationship or about life in general to understand each other. Make it a daily or weekly routine to engage your girlfriend in meaningful conversations.
We have provided the 71 best things to talk about with your girlfriend that will bring you closer!
