How to Tell If You Are Attractive: 11 Ways to Know You’re More Attractive Than You Think

Kabelo Masalesa
By Kabelo Masalesa Updated on: May 20, 2024 Fact Checked by Rachel Martinez

Many people are not aware of how attractive they are. Here are eleven ways to determine if you’re more attractive than you think.

Short on Time? (Summary)

It’s common to wonder if people think you’re beautiful or handsome. The good news is you may simply be unaware of your attractiveness, which is completely normal.

Studies have shown that humans tend to underestimate their self-worth and appeal. Similar to most people, you may also be over-critical about your appearance. This may be due to several factors which we’ll discuss shortly.

There are subtle signs that will answer your “Am I attractive” questions. We’ll reveal eleven ways to know you’re more attractive than you think, so you can live with more confidence!


  • People don’t realize how attractive they are due to several reasons such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder, depression, high beauty standards, etc.
  • An attractive person will get a lot of stares and others tend to gravitate to these individuals.
  • Don’t try to fit into the societal beauty standards.
  • Seek professional help if you have negative thoughts about yourself.

Why Do People Think They’re Unattractive?

As we mentioned earlier, many people tend to belittle themselves and have low self-worth. To help you understand yourself better, let’s uncover why people think they’re unattractive.

1. Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental illness where a person obsessively examines their appearance or a feature they think is a flaw. They feel ashamed and anxious about this perceived defect and they check themselves in the mirror for hours, every day.

Most times, people with body dysmorphic disorder seek cosmetic procedures to correct their perceived flaws. Others try to hide these features.

2. Depression

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by mood changes, persistent feelings of sadness, and loss of interest in activities.

Low self-esteem and feeling worthless are usually associated with depression. If you’re depressed, there’s a high chance that you’ll also feel ugly or unattractive.

3. Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are serious conditions that affect mental, physical, and emotional health. People with eating disorders have an unhealthy relationship with food, as they either eat too little or too much. If you have an eating disorder, you might think you’re unattractive because you think you’re overweight, even if you’re not.

4. Trauma

Past experiences and traumas from childhood, breakups, or divorce can affect your self-perception, causing you to believe you’re unattractive or even worthless.

5. Social Media and High Beauty Standards

The media portrays high and unrealistic beauty standards, making people believe that they have to look a certain way to be considered pretty or handsome.

Am I Attractive? Eleven Ways to Know You’re More Attractive Than You Think

One way to know you’re attractive is to watch how people treat you or react to your presence. This doesn’t mean you should constantly seek validation from people, but their actions can help boost your self-esteem. Here are eleven signs you’re attractive.

1. People Stare at You

Generally, people stare at things or people they find pleasing. When someone attractive walks into a room, people can’t seem to take their eyes off them. Some people might also smile or raise their eyebrows when they see you.

If you find yourself in this situation, chances are you’re more attractive than you think! Someone who gets a lot of stares and attention, without trying, has to be very attractive.

Pro Tip: If you’re alone in a public setting (say a bar) and someone keeps staring at you, but something about their stare makes you feel edgy, consider leaving the bar for your safety.

2. People Give You a Second Glance

You would notice that people give you a double take simply because you caught their attention. If someone gives you a second glance, it means they like what they see.

Also, if you get more likes and swipes than your friends who use the same dating app, you’re more attractive than you think.

3. People Treat You Kindly

If you’re attractive, you will find a lot of people being very kind to you. For example, if you ask a stranger for directions, they may smile warmly at you and try to answer all your questions. It might be because they’re simply just being friendly, but your attractiveness can also be the motivation behind people’s responses.

4. People Enjoy Talking to You

People like to be around attractive people and may start a conversation with them about anything, just to create an opportunity to engage with them.  If you notice that people often sit and talk to you for a long time, they probably like your energy and think you’re attractive.

Also, in a group conversation, people naturally give more attention to the attractive person (physical or personality-wise). It may not be fair to the others but they will always want to hear your opinions first.

5. People Go Out of Their Way to Help You

Most times, attractive people enjoy ‘pretty privileges’. This means that people who are considered pretty or handsome have more social advantages than others.

For example:

  • People buy you lunch
  • They give you more expensive gifts compared to what your friends receive on their birthdays
  • People offer to help you with your responsibilities of a group project

Generally, humans are more generous to those they find attractive. If you notice that people go out of their way to help you in any situation, you’re more attractive than you realize.

6. People Act Differently Around You

If you’re attractive, people tend to be anxious or clumsy around you. Some might even stutter around you, and others try to impress you. This is because attractive people are perceived to be intimidating.

If you notice that people act rather strangely (not creepily) towards you, you’re most likely an attractive person.

7. People Are Shocked by Your Insecurities

Most people think attractive people hardly have insecurities. They assume that you’re perfect, and you have nothing to worry about.

So, when you mention something you’re insecure about, they will be genuinely surprised. The flaw you’re so worried about doesn’t seem like a big deal to them. Use this positive feedback to become more self-assured. 

8. Some People Are Jealous of You

Being attractive comes with a lot of jealousy from others. A lot of people may feel envious of the way you look and might even be hostile towards you, for no apparent reason.

If you notice or hear that some people are jealous of you, your looks could be part of the reason.

9. People Compliment You

A sure sign that you’re attractive is that you get a lot of compliments. Sometimes, it could be about your physical appearance. For example,

  • You have an amazing smile.
  • I think you have lovely arms.
  • I love how full your eyebrows are.
  • You have a really cute nose.
  • You have really long eyelashes.

Other times, the compliments will not be about your physical appearance, but certain traits can still make you seem more attractive. For example,

  • You’re very funny, that’s why I like being around you.
  • You have a charming personality.

10. You Don’t Get Compliments

On the flip side, some attractive people don’t get compliments. The main reason is that people assume you’ve heard them a lot and you’re probably tired of hearing them.

If you don’t receive a lot of compliments, it’s normal to think you’re not attractive, but the opposite could be true. For example, if someone is nice to everyone in the room, but never comments on anything positive about you, you definitely intimidate them and your looks could be part of the reason.

11. You Get Many Messages on Social Media

Attractive people will get a lot of direct messages on social media. If you get numerous DMs on all your social media apps, irrespective of your relationship status, it’s definitely a sign that you’re attractive.

Tips to Feel and Improve Your Attractiveness

Even for very handsome guys and pretty girls, there are times when you may feel unattractive. These tips will help you improve your mental health and overall well-being.

  1. Avoid Comparison: Do not compare yourself to people on social media or try to measure up to societal beauty standards. Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way.
  2. Practice Self-Care: Try self-care routines that will make you feel good about yourself. I’ve noticed that taking care of my hair and skin helped me feel more confident in myself. Try skin and hair care routines, meditating, getting enough sleep, and taking a walk every day.
  3. Live a Healthy Lifestyle: Being healthy helps to improve your mental health, and this can even impact your self-esteem. Consider exercising more frequently, going to bed earlier, and maintaining a healthy diet.
  4. Make Some Changes: If you haven’t been feeling good lately, try making some changes in your life. For example, change your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle, or try going out more often.
  5. Accept Yourself: Embrace your uniqueness and imperfections. Your flaws are what makes you special. Most times, other people admire what you consider a flaw.
  6. Seek Professional Help: Consider speaking to a therapist to help you overcome negative feelings and improve your mental health.


Attractiveness isn’t just about your physical appearance but also about your personality. By definition, it’s the ability to draw interest and the quality of being pleasing.

If you have noticed these eleven signs, or even just some of them, chances are that you’re more attractive than you think. Now that you’ve realized that you’re attractive, summon the courage to text that girl or boy you like.

Important Note: Seek professional help if you have negative thoughts about your appearance and experience a persistent feeling of worthlessness.

Kabelo Masalesa
Author Kabelo Masalesa

Kabelo Masalesa, 29, also known as Mr Fresh, is a Relationship Coach specializing in Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) and Non Violent Communication (NVC). EFT helps individuals explore and understand their emotional responses and attachment styles in relationships, emphasizing the human need for connection and the reactions when it's at risk. NVC focuses on cultivating a non-violent, judgment-free communication style, enabling honest expression of deep feelings and needs through self-awareness, identifying emotions, recognizing personal needs, and effectively requesting them.